Why Do Girl Scouts Sell Cookies?

As I write this I am chomping away at a Thin Mint. Those darn Thin Mints! They make my thighs expand before the chocolate cookie even gets to my stomach. They clog my arteries and make me feel lethargic. They make me feel bloated. How you ask? How could one cookie make me feel bloated? Because I can't eat just one. Oh no! I go in for one but come out with a whole sleeve and before you know it I'm popping those suckers like tic tacs. One whole Thin Mint will fit in my mouth nicely. No biting necessary. How easy is that? Too easy I tell ya!

So why do Girl Scouts sell fattening cookies? Aren't those little kids supposed to be little "do gooders". Ambassadors to good will? Doesn't selling high caloric cookies go against everything they believe in? They should be selling fruit. Or green veggies. There has got to be a veggie badge that they have to earn right?

And who can pass up the sale of girl scout cookies? Nobody! Just try it. They walk by you with a cart full of sinfulness and a pathetic smile. And your knees get weak at the sight of a Samoa. All that chocolaty, carmel coconut yumminess. I think they knew what they were getting into when they came up with this fundraising heart attack in a box. How could they? They should be ashamed of themselves. They might as well sell crack in a box! Because I'm hooked! Those F'ing cookies! Thank God they only come out once a year.