Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Why are these shoes so popular if they are ugly?

I used to have a bumper sticker on my desk in college that read, "What is Right is not Always Popular and what is Popular is not Always Right." It reminds me that sometimes I have to go against the grain. So it is with this motto that I sit here and finally proclaim after so many months that CROCS are freakin' ugly! They are the American equivalent of wooden Dutch clogs. They do not flatter any one's foot, ankle or leg. As all good shoes should flatter one or all. Think of the sexy strappy sandal that laces around your ankle. It slims your ankle and is somewhat provocative. You could be 10lbs over weight, roots need to be highlighted, mascara smeared but heck you've got strappy sandals on! Feeling hot? Yes I am thank you! Just like magic.

But the Crocs...no sexiness at ALL! I hate to tell you all this but they do nothing for your "look". I mean how many guys would check out a woman at the mall in a pair of rubber gardening shoes? "Hey Bill check out the clunkers on that chick, man she is hot!" So not happening.

Rubber shoes are funny looking. Are they even made of rubber? I'll Google it. Now I did own a pair of "Jellies" back in... what was it elementary school? But those were cute and very similar to "flats". They had cute patterns on them. Crocs have holes and a dumb strap that people don't even bother to put behind their heel. So kinda like a slinky sling back but not so slinky. A thick rubber band is so wrong!

I understand some people who work in kitchens or the medical field need special shoes so they don't slip. But I think the old white nurse shoes with a wedge heal were better than these. Maybe I can see kids wearing them but the shoes are big and clumsy, not very supportive for running and playing. For Pete's sake (who is Peter anyway?) they were meant for gardening people! They were created to be near dirt and worms.

Ya know what gets me worst of all? MEN wearing Crocs! Grown Men! At Newark Airport I saw a whole family of Croc wearing idiots. The mom, kids and dad all had Crocs on. The dad was wearing nice dress pants with a pair of beige Crocs. Are you kidding me! I know you are thinking, maybe they weren't from the U.S.? Sometimes foreigners wear funky shoes. But oh yes, they were!

Please for the love of God, toss your Crocs out if you have a pair. No, better yet put them outside and use them as a planter to hold flowers. They'd be perfect for that! Remember Crocs love dirt and worms.


NikkiBenzo said...

OK... I hear ya about the Crocs... I hate them but for some reason I felt compelled to join the band wagon until I tried them on and they made my foot look like a double-wide trailer. I could have walked on water - my feet were as wide as flippers. HOWEVER - perhaps some of us should steer clear of the strappy sandals because we tend to break our ankles when we have one too many... what do you think Jen?

Christie O. said...

i am so anti-croc, it's not even funny.

sparkle said...

amen to hating crocs. when did gardening attire become all the rage?

on the other hand, would you rather these people wear flip-flops so you could see their feet? we know how much you dig feet!